Just as I was starting to enjoy my pain lessening, feeling invigorated and relieved, it migrated from the back to my neck. Ugh! That classic, Lyme-associated stiff neck. Well, "stiff neck" doesn't even begin to describe it! It's like, rather, "neck hurts like hell" neck. Can't find a comfortable position, although I can't seem to help myself trying, heat or cold compresses useless, plus every time I seem to move it, it creaks and cracks and sometimes that makes it hurt even more! The only thing that helps, so it seems, is to find something, anything that I can get completely absorbed into mentally. Whatever. I gravitate towards either: A really awesome book, an engrossing movie (documentaries are my choice), a challenging game of Scrabble, a fun jig-saw puzzle, anything that appeals the most to me at the time.
What has been working for me today and last night has been watching documentaries. OMG! I just kept finding so many good ones to watch that last night I stayed up until almost 4am! Thank you, Netflix! This is how I educate myself when reading a book is difficult. I was just really getting into the "social/cultural" section and the "fight the system" section. I really LOVE the ones produced by small, independent filmmakers. The information provided is more accurate than the larger-budget films. Also, the smaller films aren't trying to brainwash, they're by activists trying to educate. That's what I'm all about.
I have been so moved by what I have seen that I've taken it upon me to remember my mission in life, my life's plan. What I've got to keep reminding myself is: I cannot ever really enjoy the good things in life until I've gone through enough time of true suffering, then the good will be unimaginably wonderful and not just plain old good. Also, to really ascend spiritually it takes that I've got to get through this, the pain, the suffering, the agony, by channelling my higher self and getting outside of it- getting outside my mind, gaining in spiritual knowledge and awareness. Rising above. Plus, even though this world is pretty messed up and there are institutions, forces, people, etc. that have been corrupting this world with no end in sight (other than maybe a giant comet wiping everything out in its destruction...), there still is hope. I can't give up or feel down because it seems like the paradigm is starting to switch. More and more people seem to be opening up to new information. They're starting to question authority. They're eager, receptive, hungry for truth.
So, since not everyone is a truth-seeker like me, I've got to constantly submerge myself in books, podcasts, lectures, or documentaries so I can sift through it all and find the resonation of truth within it- all so I'll be someone that can pass on, educate, and inform others and help them to take off their blinders, their masks or earplugs and wake up to the true reality. Some just need to get out of denial, out of their mind-programming, away from their pride/ego to be receptive to this world-altering, invigorating new information that in the end will give us a chance out of this hell. And it's going to take so much persistence on my part. I can do it. What other choice do I have?
I know that I'll still probably have those days here and there where I just can't seem to act or think courageously, but the majority of the time I will. That happens, the mood swings and personality changes- they go through cycles, during my Lyme cycles. I'm used to it. I hate it, but I'm used to it. I try to use humor whenever possible also. Laugh at myself. Laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. Those woes pale in comparison to what's next to come...
Words of wisdom: We the people of Earth need to unite and work together, since we are are sparks from the same God- we all have God inside of us! Life is precious, the Earth is precious, so is love (true & unconditional), family, togetherness, relationships, and our experiences. All should be cherished.
Greed, power, control, and selfishness have gotten way out of hand on this planet- and for far too long. We all need to start learning from our personal and collective mistakes. Remember our history, understand it, then forget about it and transcend the boundaries of what we thought was impossible.
Stop buying useless stuff from corporations that only have themselves in mind, not the health of us or our precious planet Earth. Don't let yourselves get brainwashed from advertisers (especially commercials on tv) trying at any measure to get you to feel inadequate and that you've just gotta have that, whatever it is that they're trying selling us. They're really selling you only your ability to be controlled. Master manipulators they are. It's all about power, control, and money of course. That's all. But in the end we're being destroyed and everything that we hold dear to us. Like the sacred family bond, our individual freedoms, and our sanity, for instance.
I don't know about you, but I'm not the type of person to allow myself to be controlled or manipulated. I am not a sheep!
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